The first child, everything is new. The last child, you embrace the last chance for these experiences. The middle child, it is easy to just go through the motions.
Your middle child wants to be the center of your attention, but they may never tell you. It is up to you to open the door of communication. You may have to knock several times before the door is opened. Once the door is open, do not ask Yes/No questions. Stimulate conversation by asking about hobbies, friends, favorite movies, music, if they could go anywhere, do anything, if they had super powers…. And then listen.
To help you remember to have these moments, set up a routine perhaps at bed time where you sit one-on-one and talk and listen to each child. Ten minutes (30 minutes for all three children) will build trust and comfort which will be needed as your children grow and face more difficult issues. Talking, listening does not cost a thing, but the rewards are priceless.
Credit: Winner, Disney Family’s on-going “Comment Mania Contest”, http://family.go.com/comment-contest/ (November 2007)
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