Discipline or Abduction

“Whose child is this?” was the urgent question a woman asked as I tried to remove my screaming four year old from a store. I was involved in an argument with my child and really did not understand the question, so I chose to ignore her. Again with a little force, she asked, “Whose child is this?” I shook my head trying to grasp her involvement in my situation and responded, “Mine.” She apparently did not like my response and took my son by the arm. At that point both of us turned on her and asked with a little anger, “What are you doing?” I don’t know if it was the sudden unity in our response or the angry darts I was shooting with my eyes that made her decide that this was not a fight she wanted to fight.

In a traditional family, a mother removing a screaming child from a store would produce a few cheers. We are not a traditional family. We are transracial which means one of us is of one race (myself, Caucasian) and another of us from another race (one son, African American). I suppose the woman looked at us and saw an abduction and not discipline.

I know that I have to be thicked skinned. I know that not everybody agrees with our family values. I know that these days you just don’t know who the good guys are or the bad guys are based on appearances.

I don’t know how to let strangers know that I am discipline-ing my child and not abducting some child.