Faith, I am a professed Christian. There are those that believe once a believer, always a believer. I too believe that, BUT the road is not always easy to see. Belief is sometimes hard to believe, and I question whether or not I believe in my heart or in my mind.
In less than a month, I will be 39 years old. I tell you that only to let you know that I have had time in my life to hit a few bumps, be diverted off track and make a few u-turns. I came to Christ as a child, but as a teenager I leaped off the road and tried to make my own path. After a number of near misses and one major crash, I finally found the road of faith and jumped in the Christ-mobile. As an adult, the road is not any smoother. My car, my belief, has been tested over and over. Where is God when bad things happen to good people?
I love to sing the song by Barlow Girls, “Never Alone.” I use to cry every time the song started, “I waited for you today, but you didn’t show.” For a number of years while I have climbed some pretty difficult mountains, I have wondered where is God? Like the song, I finally decided to “hold tight to what I know. (God) is here, and I am never alone.” Since this was a mental decision, not a feeling or passion from my heart, I wondered what is faith? Is faith an unexplainable passion that moves us one way or another through our heart or is it just a mental exercise to accept the most plausible belief system?
Faith is both, both heart and mind. In my heart, I know when God speaks to me and comforts me (Isaiah 41:10). In my mind, I know God has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11). I have studied the scriptures, listened to the scientific arguments, questioned both and made my decision both in my heart and in my mind. The Big Bang could not have happened if something/someone didn’t start it. Science can create life in a test tube but who made the materials used in that process? When you do something wrong, why do you feel guilt? God is there in your heart and in your mind. Whether you accept him or not, he accepts you.
I once knew the peace that goes beyond all understanding (Philippians 4:7), but bumps and bruises have made it difficult for me to believe. Since writing this blog and trying to create designs for my on-line store (shameless plug: http://www.zazzle.com/DesigningD* ), I have discovered my designs predominantly lean towards faith. I didn’t try to do designs of faith, but as I doodled and developed and got excited, I saw the image of the cross. My mind may be having troubles accepting my faith, but in my heart there are no questions.
Faith is both, both mind and heart. Jeremiah 29:13-14, says, “You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, 14 I will be found by you,” It doesn’t say that the moment you seek me with all your heart you will instantly find God. It says seek and you will find. I am seeking and am finding just not in a big BANG. I am finding little by little and feeling the comfort, the peace and the understanding growing both in my heart and in my mind. Faith is both. Faith is heart, and faith is mind.
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