Step Four: Pick ME!

Finally, we were certified to foster. Our home was ready to greet a new child. What is next? Next is a very frustrating game that requires skills in networking and marketing.

At any given time in the City of Houston alone there are more than a 1,000 children available for adoption. You would think with such a high number, having a child placed in your home would be quick. It is not. Depending on how restricted you are in what type of child you will receive, you could wait 6 months or up to 5 years. Five years being for those who will only accept infant, Caucasian, girls. If you are willing to accept boys and/or girls, your wait is shorter. If you are willing to receive children of other races, the wait is shorter. If you are willing to accept sibling groups (2 or more brothers and/or sisters), your wait could be even shorter.

We were open to a boy or girl of any race and sibling groups of up to three. We were restricted on the number in the sibling group because of the size of our house. To foster in the State of Texas, there is a number of square feet of living space that you have to have per person in the household. Our house was certified for four children and we already had one, so a sibling group of 2 or three was it for us. We didn’t get a sibling group, so really a mute question.

In the State of Texas there are a lot of good intentions developed into the foster program. The first goal is to reunify children with their parents, guardians or at least someone of significance already in the child’s life. When that is not possible, the child is placed in foster care. There are a lot of agencies that work with the State to help place children in loving homes. When a child needs placement, a call goes out to all the agencies and State Case Workers with a brief profile of the child and the situation. The agencies then go through their waiting families and try to select the family best suited for that child. They call the family and give them the brief profile and a choice to be submitted. If the family agrees, their application is submitted to the State. Of all the families of all the agencies, the State tries to select the best (I think it is three) three families each from a different agency. This is the short list and a meeting will be held called a “Four Way” where each agency will give their case to the State why their family is the best family for this child. The State then awards placement. This, of course, is the best case scenario and not always possible.

A suggestion our agency made to help promote our family was to create a Family Life Book. Our Case Worker then would submit our Family Book along with our application to help the State decided to select us. In our book, we dedicated one page per family member plus a page about the family pet, a page about the community and a page about our church. I like graphic design and photography so I added plenty of pictures and graphic elements.

If there is any advice I can give a waiting family, it is pictures. Take lots of pictures, happy pictures in good lighting. If you have kids and want more kids, take pictures of your kids. If you don’t have kids but have a pet, take lots of pictures of your pet. If you don’t have kids or a pet, take pictures of your extended family. If you are alone in this world, take pictures of you at places you would like to take your future child too. Nothing makes you more real than you. Take a picture of you. Giving the State a real person through a photo helps them see that you are the real deal and ready for placement.

So we are waiting for placement, waiting for a child to be placed in our home. We were not getting any calls. We eventually discovered that many children are in an emergency placement situation, and there is not enough time to go through a formal process to select a family. We knew we were one of many families waiting so to help keep our name at the top of the call list, we decided to call every week. We also discovered that the State had open houses where agencies and State Case Workers come together to discuss new policies and procedures and children already in foster care in need of more permanent placement. The State’s objective is to keep each child on the front of everybody’s mind so nobody gets lost or left out. The agencies are able to review case studies and profiles. Since families come and go through the process, this meet and greet is a good opportunity to be reminded of an old case that is perfect for a new family.

Even though we are not an agency, my husband and I went to a few of these meetings. It was a good networking opportunity. We met many State representatives in Child Protective Services. Our theory was not just to look good on paper, but to look good in person. We hoped to not be just a name on a piece of paper, but when a child came up and our family was submitted, we hoped we had met that Case Worker and that they said, “Oh, I met this family. Let’s call them in.” There is no way for us to tell, but our phone began to ring.