Step Three: Certification

Along the Adoption Journey, especially if you go through Special Needs Adoption, many doors will open and then close. When the doors close, you open a window. As long as the winds of hope blow, your journey continues.

We had made the decision to adopt. We had decided that Special Needs Adoption was the path for us. We had an agency and case worker on our side. Now we set out to jump through all the hoops to be certified and eligible to foster to adopt. First things first, easier said than done. What did we need to do first? Not an easy question to answer, but we started making lists and then just started checking things off.

Every step of the way, our eyes were opened more and more. You think because you are an adult who has lived through some stuff; you have watched the news; you have read the papers; you have seen some movies; you have read some books; you think you know what to expect. As you go through the training classes, the trainers tell you the extremes, the worst case scenarios. They try to prepare you to accept, love and care for the most needy. They try to weed out the people just in it for the pay check. They try to weed out the people doing it as their civic, moral or charitable “duty” and not realizing what the potential for a really long term commitment this is. This is not just a commitment that could last a life time. It is a commitment that impacts you, your finances, your extended family and your community. Your schools, your church, the kids at the playground are all going to interact with you and any child you bring into your home.

My husband became irritated by some of the hoops we had to jump through. Time and time again we talked about the process not being designed for people like us. We like to think of ourselves as hard working, honest, and loving with best intentions. The process was designed for the worst case scenario. We don’t know, but we certainly hoped, that the process was designed to make people with the wrong motives think twice before taking a child into their homes. Of course, it does not always work, but here is a tip. If the class comes to the question and answer period and your first and only question is “when does the State start paying me?” then you are in it for the wrong reasons.

Things we had to do: take P.R.I.D.E. classes, get home up to code, collect references, complete a ton of paperwork including background check information and financial records, and get finger printed. There was more nitty gritty stuff. We got it done.

The hardest most heart wrenching, thought provoking part of the process, filling out the survey to determine what type of child we were able to foster and potentially adopt. Honesty and good intentions do not make you a good parent for all children. There are other things to consider; more about that tomorrow.